Sunday, November 23, 2008

Who knew a church staple was so naughty?

Around where I grew up, there were often church banquets or dinners that the parishoners would put on to get to know other people in the congregation and often help the elderly be social and such. There might be a pancake breakfast or a turkey dinner but no matter what was on the menu, it was a way to bring the community together.

So you can imagine how shocked I was to learn this tidbit of information. I almost busted a guy last night at this party because the hostess and host had both just gotten back from about a year of campaigning for Obama in Montana and Pennsylvania and told me this story about how someone invited this Asian woman to a spaghetti breakfast and she almost passed out at the suggestion. Why, you ask? Because "spaghetti breakfast" is a euphemism for "tentacle rape" (see below illustration). So here they were having a friendly, get-to-know you Obama event serving a cheap-to-make food item on their budget and this poor woman thought she was being introduced to some twisted porn ring in Billings, Montana. Sheesh. Shows you how we should all be more up on our slang intake.

P.S. There's even a Spaghetti Breakfast Club (get it). Their Google description lists, "A group for people who like ravaging with, or being ravaged by, non-human entities, like tentacles, demons, aliens, et cetera." I love the etc. bit. Like you can use your imagination for all of the other types of serpents that have tentacles and could possibly defile you. Wacky stuff, eh? Apparently, there's a whole genre of porn about this stuff too! Where have I been?

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