Wireless everywhere

I'll tell ya, I know in small towns, there probably isn't wireless internet for free everywhere, but in small-ish towns, there is. Not only does my Motel 6 have it but then I just ducked out with laptop in hand (since I'm working along the way), and Bob Evans (which, by the way, is sort of like Friendly's I guess), has it too. You just have to agree to their policies (like not going to inappropriate websites and promising that you will always shop at Wal-Mart when faced with options of other department stores). I hit ACCEPT of course.

So I ordered the "Knife and Fork Homemade Meatloaf Sandwich" and it's divine. And free refills on the Arnold Palmers. Those are half ice tea, half lemonade drinks. Yippee! You don't even have to ask for a refill. They just bring it to you when you start getting near the bottom. And when you leave, they ask you if you want a free refill to go? Where the heck am I?

And next to me at the counter sits the nicest little family. Mom, Dad and little 3 yr old girl. She's drawing pictures for them and they're both agreeing that it's the best house picture they've EVER seen. So cute. Truly happy. So no joke, it's almost 1 p.m. and this place is hopping! There's a line out the door for seats but thanks to me being a loner, I'm at the counter with my MacBook updating the ol' blog. Just realized, (edit) it's Sunday and these folks go to church in the morning and come here afterwards apparently. The sea foam skirt suit and broach on this woman just tipped me off.

I have to point out that the only employee here of color is the bus boy (man). He's about a 65-year old African American man and just brought in pounds and pounds of ice for the wait staff and no one even looked at him. It's just something that keeps cropping up for me. The communities outside of the cities are mostly white and the employees that are customer-facing are white too. That BBQ guy and his staff at the fair yesterday were practically the only black people at the fair. And when I looked up his website, Lil J's BBQ, he's from Columbus, Ohio, which apparently has a large black population. I know I shouldn't be so surprised by this but I still am. I did, however, see an interracial couple at the fair. And an Asian couple with kids. So I guess slowly but surely. But they were all getting looks.

Strippers, Guns and Bratwurst

So downtown Clarion wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Main Street was dead and apparently, girls just don’t dress like me there because I stood out like a sore thumb. And I was just wearing a tunic. Oh my gosh! So instead of going to a pub and grill, I snuck into Vinny’s Pizza to get a slice to go and bring it back to my motel room. As I waited for my slice to be warmed up, I got to “meet” the barmaid from the next door, Vinny’s Bar. She wore a sexy short red dress (stripper-ish), high heels and had much enhancement in the chest area. Needless to say, I have to get over the whole townie bar thing and venture inside next time. She was something else. I wish I could have shot her. Would’ve been a great photo.



Came home to that stupid Meryl Streep ABBA movie. How did that get made? Woke up to a continental breakfast that included waffles! Isn’t that nuts? Usually, it’s bagels and cereal and coffee. But there were fresh waffles with syrup for free (miss you Shawn). Checked out and went into town to see the place in the daylight. It was still quaint and scattered with folks going for breakfast at the country kitchen. I bought some postcards, got stamps at the post office (no line) and visited the local Goodwill where I found this great platter with the Pennsylvania Game Commission on it. Thought that was for casino regulation or something but on my way back from the dude ranch up river, I learned that it’s like deer and other targets. I stopped along the road because I saw this strange setup with men and guns. Apparently, they were shooting “300s.” That’s the name of the type of rifle they had. It was super loud. I had to hold my ears and it still hurt. But they shot at their targets and probably thought that I was making fun of it all but I do know that deer mate like mad and cause some trouble and unfortunately need to be shot. Right? That’s what the boys in my high school told me when I hit a buck with 10 points with my little Toyota Corolla. Population control. Whatevs. So I met these boys with guns and it was fun.

On the radio driving around town, I couldn’t help but notice again how awesome the songlist was. I know Doug, it’s evil Clear Channel. But it’s sooooo nostalgic. Air Supply, Tom Jones, Billy Joel, “She’s a brick house.” There is also a lot of glam band rock on the airwaves. Aren’t those mostly men in robes with makeup on? And that surprises me considering most of the people around here have bumper stickers that say “Marriage: YES! One man. One woman.” I even got into the car once and that song “I lick ya boom boom down” was playing. Not sure what it’s called but I know you know the one I’m talking about. As “Piano Man” played, it brought back so many memories of high school and going up to Lake George with Amy, Casey and Mary E. We used to tear it up in that town and I had to remember how easy that was to do. Now I’m legal, I have to venture into a bar fer gosh sakes. And maybe they’ll have a jukebox and I can get everyone to sing to a Billy Joel tune.

Or…. This DJ had just finished playing “Flashdance” by Irene Cara and made a mistake saying that there was a remake of that film out now. He meant “Fame.” Duh! How could you mess that up! But then Flashdance came to mind and I thought, I’m going to go thru some steel towns. Why can’t that happen to me? Meet some hot dude and look very cool about town in my tank and worn-in jeans. Oh wait, she was also a stripper at night, right? Scratch that. Speaking of stripping, there are an awful lot of highway adult stores here. And the billboards are funny because they’re like "EXIT NOW!" as if it’s an emergency to find porn while driving on the interstate. And NOT speaking of porn, there is a lot of God TV here. Ministries on every channel. What’s up with that? Oh, and I’ve decided after today that one of my series of photos will be the messages on the marquees outside of churches. They are a hoot! Also, it’s like 53 degrees at night yet it’s summer here too, right? Sheesh. Actually, I shouldn't complain because it was like Africa back home. This is a welcomed change.



So before arriving in Bucyrus, Ohio, where the annual Bratwurst Festival is, I stopped at the AAA I-76 Antique Mall and what a distraction (no guns allowed in the mall FYI). These antique malls are everywhere other than NYC and I heart them. But they are like 40,000 square feet of booths and it’s exhausting. Okay, back to the sausages! Wowsa! It was a seriously cute little festival with rides for the young-ins and lots of greasy food for the rest of us. Funnel cakes, cotton candy, deep fried Oreos, BBQ ribs, blooming onions and lots more! I went around shooting everyone and it was genuinely fun to share in this big event for this small town. And I mean small. BTW, I got to meet Miss Bratwurst 2009.



So there literally wasn’t anywhere to stay in Bucyrus, not even a scary motel. Another thing I noticed about the kids in Ohio, they’re all blonde for some reason. Their parents aren’t but they are. And on the news tonight, I learned that this guy with really white teeth that lives in this town shot 3 women in a fitness club because he was sick and tired of being turned down by women. Yea, so I’m going to close on that little tidbit. I’m rambling, I know. Tomorrow, I head to Peru, Indiana, a suggestion from Shawn at work. They pronounce it Pee-roo. Hilarious! It’s apparently the site of The International Circus Hall of Fame. Can’t wait!

Tornadoes, Drive-ins and Corn, Oh My!

So what the hell was I thinking? I hate driving. Always have. On my way to my folks’ house in Cortlandt Manor, I got stuck on the Major Deegan in some MAJOR traffic and wanted to just die. So by the time I got to Peekskill to collect my tent and the many care package items (Cheerios included) that Agnes put together for me (that’s my mom), I was questioning whether I could even take a cross-middle-of-America tour in my Subaru being the solo driver. But today changed that. From Peekskill, I had to start my journey in Saugerties because my housekeeper Denise (my sister) is in Florida and therefore, could not get Kippagh ready for its next guest that arrived this afternoon. So after a day of resting in the hammock and getting my fill of HGTV before heading out west, I left this morning at 11 a.m. (it’s not like I’m gonna wake up early to go on vacation) Pi-sha!



Thruway here I come! But before I knew it, there were interrupted classic rock tunes on the radio because there were emergency weather advisories. Tornadoes were coming to New York and I was apparently right in the middle of it all. Oy vey, I said to myself. The rain was torrential. I could hardly see what was in front of me. My windshield was like that cloudy mess you see when you’re going through a car wash. Luckily the two truck drivers behind and beside me had TONS of lights on their rigs (that’s right, I said rigs) and that helped me to stay in my lane until it subsided. But phew! What an ordeal. Then I got farther into Pennsylvania and it started lightening up. I was now hungry and had finished a whole can of Pepsi so I needed to stop for some relief.

I stopped at an exit called Nescopeck. Why? Because out of all the FOOD plaques on the highway sign, there was one that wasn’t a chain and it was called “Tom’s Kitchen.” Sounded just like the type of place that I wanted to visit on this small town, non-commercial adventure. Little did I know that Tom’s Kitchen looked like a scary funeral home and since it was already 2:30 p.m., there were two cars in the large parking lot and I bet they were staff. So I pretended like I had to make a u-turn and got the hell outta that joint. The car needed gas so I pulled into a bp station and filled up and lo and behold, there was this ice cream cone atop this strip mall looking building and below it was a café called Cookies and a Stewart Root Beer Drive-In next door. So stinkin’ cute. I had to go.

I pulled in and went straight for the ladies room. I was hoping there was one outside since I wholeheartedly planned on eating at the drive-in, not the indoor café, but the young girl in the ice cream shoppe said it was inside. I had my camera and soooo wanted to shoot the inside of this place but there are those times when you have NY plates and you know it would be highly condescending to take a photo of the inside of this early bird special eatery. So instead, I will try to briefly explain. It was like the figurine area of a Hallmark store threw up in this place. You know the ones (Brynn and I JUST talked about the little angels or fat cherubs). The overly floral plastic table cloths and the wagon wheel light fixtures just didn’t go together. I was a bit surprised by that actually. There wasn’t a suggestion box so I kept my comments to myself and used the facilities.


Outside it was pretty dead but then again, Armageddon just happened moments earlier and I’m sure folks were still under cover. I ordered a burger from the nice young man behind the counter who proceeded to not only inform me about the origins of Stewart’s Root Beer but also that the item named “halupki” on the wall menu was a stuffed cabbage delicacy with meat inside. Apparently, I had stumbled into the Slovak area of Pennsylvania. Wasn’t up for cabbage at the moment but was glad to learn something new in the world of cuisine. I also found out that down the road there was a drive-in theatre. “How cool!” I told him. But with my exuberant exclamation came scorn and disapproval from the young, pretty thing in the back making my burger. This young man worked with adorable teenage girls at this summer drive-in stand and I had just upset the apple cart by talking him up. I guess I wasn't going to be able to show him how you pick the lock of your car (just learned it in my Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide book). Now please, I could be his mother fer gosh sakes. But regardless, I knew my time there was limited and ate my burger quickly, glanced over at the trays they put on your car window when the 14-year olds (as he put it) work on busy days. A real drive-in burger joint! And it was my first stop. AWESOME!

So along the way driving, there was never a dull moment. My car odometer went from 49,999 miles to 50,000 while stopped in traffic. Very exciting for my 10-year old Forester. I saw my fill of fireworks warehouses and cigarette outlets along the interstate and murdered my share of bugs as Leadfoot O’Connor sped through Route 80. Along the way though, there was such great music on the radio and I think that this alone is what kept me from hating this particular drive. Richard Marx, Pink Floyd, Pat Benatar, Journey, Bad Company (my first ever concert without parental supervision), Def Leppard, Jimmy Buffett and many, many more. I’ve definitely tapped the steering wheel before when a good song comes on but it got ridiculous. I think this is the start of a long trip of me talking to me and beltin’ out the tunes. Luckily, in this technology age, folks driving by will simply think I’m talking on my Bluetooth.

So next was getting off 80 and venturing into DuBois, which they pronounce Doo-Boyz. Whatevs. I thought it was supposed to be a pretty large town where I might find a motel to stay at but I was dead wrong. I drove a ways and found this corn field and then another corn field and then another. So I pulled over and started taking some shots at this one in particular that had an abandoned barn. Sure, there were no trespassing signs but really, it’s not like I’m going to shack up there. I just wanted to smell the hay and take some corn pics.



This nice elderly couple in a Cutlass stopped next to me and asked, “Sweetie, can we help you with anything?” and I shook my head and smiled and said, “Oh no, thanks, I’m just looking at the corn.” Yea, so they drove off thinking I was insane. But I was. I don’t think I’ve ever been up that close to cornfields. And they were vast. Just kept going for miles it seemed. The farm I was trespassing on was called Plum Hollow Dairy and it was sooo stinkin’ cute. They had an adorable farmhouse and those silos and tractors and all.



At this point, I had been on the road nearing 7 hours and I wanted to finally settle in for the night in a stereotypical motel with a pool and of course the old fashioned wifi. Although this is more for one night than I’ve spent on an entire month’s lodging in most of the places I visit, it was a good thing because I needed a dip in the pool, a good shower and to remember that I was still connected to y’all. So I’m in Clarion, Pennsylvania and for those of you who said that I wouldn’t be able to avoid Wal-Mart .. you were right! Bonus feature: the helpful fella at the desk informed me that all Quality Inns have wifi without passwords so now I can pull up to the many I’ve seen along the way if I ever need to get some free connections. I had to use 3 big pillows to sit ergonomically correct on the executive chair at the desk to use my laptop.

I know, crucial info to share. So now I am off to the pool because it’s open til 10:30 (woohoo) and I heard on the college radio station that there’s this new cool spot to hang out at on Main Street and I have a hankering for meat wrapped in cabbage now! And by the way, motels have come a long way since I was head of housekeeping at the William Baker Hotel in Chautauqua. This bedspread actually looks like it’s been cleaned and everything is actually pretty spot on. I tried to get into the Super 8 because I just love their logo but they were filled with the largest contingent of GT owners I’ve ever seen in one place. Now where is that bikini….

MJ Tribute

On my way home tonight from work, (I switch at Jackson Heights) there was this huge crowd forming at the top of the stairs. When I stopped to see what they were all looking at, folks were simply watching the BEAT IT video on a flat screen TV that was in a subway-level shop window. It was so sweet. Just all these commuters stopping in their tracks to simply watch that awesome video and pay homage to an incredible entertainer.

I still don't understand how people could be making jokes about his death. Well, I get it, but I guess it just makes me sad because I seriously feel terrible for this poor man. His childhood was an utter nightmare and folks don't seem to understand that it's not your fault when you've grown up that way. I never did believe that he hurt a hair on any child but even if he had done something inappropriate, it wouldn't surprise me considering what he grew up thinking was "normal." I know I'm guilty of making fun of people, especially celebs that I don't even know, but in this case, I just wish everyone would respect the extremely negative life he had. I don't believe in life after death but if he did, I hope he's in a better place now. Because even in his adulthood, it still didn't seem like he was surrounded by people that truly cared about him. Shame.

The good ol' days

I just met a woman named Flash. You gotta love New York. When asked where she grew up, she said, "Delaware, but I haven't grown up yet." And true that was. She is a comedian, writer, illustrator, designer, among many other things I'm sure. I met her with Nicole at a book signing party in Chelsea. The author whose book was being honored was Laurie Rosenwald, another amazing woman in her 50s. The woman created a font fer gosh sakes. But her book is an utter hoot and a half. I started reading it on my way home and it's like a thought dump that I wish I had written. She is utterly insane and I love her even though I don't know her (yet). This group of friends that she has accumulated over the years were unreal. One of them said that 30 years or so ago, her friend with incredible blonde hair and just that way about her, was pursued by Jimi Hendrix. These folks are the real New York. These are the people who used to hang out with de Kooning, Pollock, Ginsburg. I have to get into this circle. I think Nicole and I found a good way but I can't write about it here because soon you'll read it about it elsewhere (he he). Anyway, the only downer was that someone took my umbrella, the one that I found left at a bar in Flatbush. It was my favorite. Now it's gone. But now that I meditate, it's all okay. I took another black umbrella. Granted, it was broken and not as functional, but I believe I got as wet as I would have with my awesome one that is currently in someone else's hallway. Ommmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Sorry Ms. McIlhon

Ms. McIlhon was my creative writing professor in undergrad and she would be outraged at how lame my posts are here. I'm outraged after all. I am better than this and starting this blog was partially in order to hone my former skills as a writer by practicing as often as possible. I was recollecting what I wrote last night and realizing even away from the computer how much they lacked in any detail or interest.

I wrote that there was "great food" at the consulate? That doesn't even remotely describe the food there. Shame on me. So I plan to rewrite that post (not delete it) and hopefully I can salvage the small amount of dignity I have for my writing prowess with a concentrated edit. But not now. I am currently streaming all of the Gossip Girl episodes I missed while vacationing in Europe. So ta ta for now. More to come...

Slumdog Millionaire

This is a MUST SEE. Granted, I have not been to many films this year but this was the best this year. And why did I stop going to independent films? And boys, it's not a chick flick. There are aspects of chickyness in it but there's also all this gangsta and violence shit that will satisfy you if you're into that sort of thing. It's such a great story and you'll love the way the writer framed the storyline. I did. I heart this film and want everyone to go see it. The actors are AMAZING. And I recently saw them interviewed on some morning show I think. They are so humble. So adorable. You will be laughing, crying, on the edge of your seat. ALL OF THE ABOVE. But you may take my advice (even before I saw this film) and never go to India. It's a tough place with a lot of icky folks unfortunately. And I guess I could be sympathetic and say that poverty can make some people do horrible things but this is just AWFUL. and so much of what I saw there is just heart-wrenching. ENJOY THE FILM.